Crumpled Horn, RM14 2AJ
- 33-37 Corbets Tey Road, RM14 2AJ
- 11am-11pm Mon-Thu; 11am-midnight Fri-Sat; noon-10:30pm Sun
Marston's pub in Upminster. Previously owned by Wizard Inns, it joined the Marston's Inns and Taverns portfolio when Marston's bought Wizard Inns in 2004.
About half of the seating is on raised daises, breaking up the rather large room quite nicely. There are a couple of large leather sofas at ground level by the front window. The ceiling is low, and the decor is somewhat dominated by the rather loud carpet. A fruit machine flashes silently in a corner. Overall, the feel is of an old-fashioned chain pub.
Kake visited on a Monday afternoon in June 2009. Three real ales were available, all under the umbrella of Marston's PLC despite the sign above the bar advertising "a changing selection of real ales from all over the country" — Jennings Honey Bole (£1.35/half), Banks's Bitter (£1.25/half), and Marston's Pedigree (and on a subsequent visit in July 2009 it was just Pedigree and Bank's Bitter). Soft rock was playing quietly, and there were a fair few other customers in. Service was friendly.
They do food all day; a menu spotted in June 2009 advertised a special offer of two meals for £8, with half a dozen choices including one vegetarian option. Food is not ordered at the bar but at your table (it's not entirely clear how you're supposed to let the staff know you want to order).
According to a sign seen outside in September 2014, there's a quiz night every Tuesday.
Accessibility: No steps to get in, and it's step-free to the toilets, bar, and about half of the seating area.